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Classical Musicians Protect the Square with Music
Shiv hidden inside a French horn Springfield, MO – To decrease problems on the square, the Springfield Police has paired up with the Urban Districts Alliance by employing classical musicians trained in...
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Veterinarians Day Parade Attracts Hundreds of Animals
Several animals attended the parade to support vets Springfield, MO – Springfield’s First Annual Veterinarians Day parade took place on Saturday and was attended by several people and non-humans to...
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Downtown Preacher to Address Court with Microphone and Amplifier
Most people’s perception Springfield, MO – Described as noisy, annoying and filled with the obnoxious spirit, one downtown preacher has received at least seven tickets for disturbing the peace and...
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Traffic Cone Guy Hunts Bad Drivers
Rare sighting of TCG at MoDOT Springfield, MO – Based off of numerous first-hand accounts, the Missouri Department of Transportation has a new ally in the fight for highway safety and it is known as...
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Gillioz Auction Conducted Via Reality Talent Show
Live voting starts tonight on KY3 Springfield, MO – The forthcoming auction of the Gillioz Theatre has interesting stipulations surrounding the protocol around purchasing the property: bidders must...
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Mom & Pop Health Food Stores Cry Foul
Local aprons in a wad With an irony sweet as a hunk of marbled halvah, local mom and pop health food stores are accusing the multi-outlet, mega health food juggernaut, Mama Jean’s, of running them out...
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Salty Bear Nuts Actually Quite Tasty
Boomer’s bearhood in a can Springfield, MO – Missouri State Bears fans now have the unique opportunity to eat Bear Nuts, which are widely available across Ozarks grocery stores. Bear Nuts are consumed...
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Oxygen on Tap at Heritage Cafeteria
Tableside tanks and masks now available Springfield, MO – Diners can now enjoy free tableside oxygen at Springfield’s landmark cafeteria along with food steeped in tradition. The additional service is...
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Holiday Homeowners Infected with LED Poisoning
High levels of LED exposure detected Springfield, MO – An annual family tradition of decorating several lawns with Christmas lights, animated displays and thousands of LED lights to celebrate the...
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Drone Prostitute Delivery Tested in Ozarks
Damn fine woman delivered via drone Springfield, MO – Local pimp daddy Le Freak Mosho’ has announced that 3 months of drone delivery testing has proved successful and delivery of his ho’s might be...
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Customized Tank Shop Coming to Town!
Tank with spinners, gullwing doors, flag and custom flame paint job Republic, MO – The city of Republic has announced that a $4.8 million manufacturing plant being built there should create 77 new jobs...
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US World Cup Fans Ready For Misunderstanding
Your director of accounting today at the office Springfield, MO – Thousands of US soccer fans are prepared to endure questionable stares, headshakes and dismissals during the largest sporting event on...
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Turn Signal Fines Potential Revenue Source
Legal experts expect turn signal fines to increase Springfield, MO – Springfield officials have been observing developments in Colorado since marijuana was legalized there last year. City Manager...
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Arms Race in Christian County
Sparta ready to acquire next available armored vehicle NIXA, MO – Nixa law enforcement has stepped up its game by acquiring a former military vehicle designed to resist mine explosions and ambushes....
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Underground Beer Railroad Discovered
Beer caverns discovered, celebrated Springfield, MO – Excavators struck an underground room last week and happened upon a discovery of a lifetime, the original location of the underground beer...
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Mountain Lion Retires to Creekside at Elfindale
Mt. lion observing excellent independent care options Springfield, MO – A mountain lion sighting was reported near the Creekside at Elfindale Retirement Community last week where it is believed it was...
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Battlefield Mall Makes Way For “Diagon Alley: Springfield” Attraction
3D rendering of Diagon Alley SGF, located in Battlefield Mall Springfield, MO – The City of Springfield has agreed to remove portions of the Battlefield Mall to create an attraction that will be known...
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Branson’s “Number Ones” Raided
Numerous number one claims investigated Branson, MO - Fourteen Branson theaters learned that the Federal Trade Commission’s Division of Advertising Practices have been conducting an investigation into...
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Uncle Si Cup Production Moved to SGF
Duck Dynasty cup production plant unveiled Springfield, MO – The A&E hit show Duck Dynasty has touched the Ozarks in the form of a plastic cup facility, at the site of the former Solo Cup plant on...
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Dinosaur’s Fate Debated by Scientists
Debate rages over disappearance of Dino Springfield, MO –Local scientists are hotly debating the recent disappearance of Dino, a green fiberglass dinosaur located on hole number six at Fun Acre Mini...
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